My Lost...
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
http://kevan.org/johari?name=scanzel << do this
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=scanzel << tis too. Thanks!
I wouldnt say that I've been through a lot in my life as I believe there are many other much unfortunates. Now that's sth I really have to keep in mind. Mayb as a consolation?
These few weeks been really tough for me. Having losing 1 of my dearest friends. He passed away. Edwin left the world with his illness but he brought a smile with him.. Although God gave up on him, his will to carry on keeps him going.. It's really a sad moment. Having him gone and leaving his frail aged single mother who stood by him all these years... "How could you....??" I tried asking Edwin.. he simply couldn reply. I held on my tears through the nite. As I gave my word to him that no tears would be shed. No fancy burial/ceremony was given as the family's poor after all the treatments. No relatives came to sent him off even after inviting them. They shun and started to "disown" this relationship they have after the family met crisis. Leaving only his mum and myself to send him off. Started to believe in how pathetic human beings can be.... You may once live as an "angel" with a kind soul or you might be famous but when misfortune falls on you, will there be anyone standing beside you? or even pity you? You might end up pitying yourself..for being silly to carry hopes for the world. Pity..
I took a walk down the beach.. and sat down. Many things went thru my mind... I looked thru my hp... in search for anyone i could talk to... Doubt overcame me. For a moment i lost the trust I have for everyone and didnt think anyone would be free enough to listen. They might be busy with their own stuff.. So gave up e idea. Then, I need a moment to myself.. My mind went blank. For a sec, I believed that my brain is(would) subconciously deleting(delete) all the bad/sad/unwanted memories. That explains why I'm so forgetful....
No longer would have expectations. I wouldn expect anyone to be nice, good or whatever shit. Cause, if i have expectations, i will bound to have disappointment and unhappiness. So why torture myself?
No longer would compromise myself for others.. Why bother to change what I wanted beforehand.. to compromise others... when i know i wouldn like it...is there a need?? Dun think dey would appreciate either...
Why e silliness.... .....
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=scanzel << tis too. Thanks!
I wouldnt say that I've been through a lot in my life as I believe there are many other much unfortunates. Now that's sth I really have to keep in mind. Mayb as a consolation?
These few weeks been really tough for me. Having losing 1 of my dearest friends. He passed away. Edwin left the world with his illness but he brought a smile with him.. Although God gave up on him, his will to carry on keeps him going.. It's really a sad moment. Having him gone and leaving his frail aged single mother who stood by him all these years... "How could you....??" I tried asking Edwin.. he simply couldn reply. I held on my tears through the nite. As I gave my word to him that no tears would be shed. No fancy burial/ceremony was given as the family's poor after all the treatments. No relatives came to sent him off even after inviting them. They shun and started to "disown" this relationship they have after the family met crisis. Leaving only his mum and myself to send him off. Started to believe in how pathetic human beings can be.... You may once live as an "angel" with a kind soul or you might be famous but when misfortune falls on you, will there be anyone standing beside you? or even pity you? You might end up pitying yourself..for being silly to carry hopes for the world. Pity..
I took a walk down the beach.. and sat down. Many things went thru my mind... I looked thru my hp... in search for anyone i could talk to... Doubt overcame me. For a moment i lost the trust I have for everyone and didnt think anyone would be free enough to listen. They might be busy with their own stuff.. So gave up e idea. Then, I need a moment to myself.. My mind went blank. For a sec, I believed that my brain is(would) subconciously deleting(delete) all the bad/sad/unwanted memories. That explains why I'm so forgetful....
No longer would have expectations. I wouldn expect anyone to be nice, good or whatever shit. Cause, if i have expectations, i will bound to have disappointment and unhappiness. So why torture myself?
No longer would compromise myself for others.. Why bother to change what I wanted beforehand.. to compromise others... when i know i wouldn like it...is there a need?? Dun think dey would appreciate either...
Why e silliness.... .....
soowei noted at 1:19 PM
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